A Darker Shade

  I don’t think we’ ll ever witness the first snowfall of the year together or that I’ll run back to you the way  I did when I first left. Somehow, I think I knew this when I decided to pursue other things more than you. I knew time would change me somehow. Without you,…

Third World Worries

I remember the many nights spent walking in the heat and dust, sitting through 2-hour bus rides stuck in traffic, walking through the flooded streets of Chinatown. I remember you bringing me hot noodle soup and jelly rolls when I got sick, and buying me ice cream every day of the summer we spent together….

Checklists and Checkmate

I don’t think you can fall in love with a checklist. I meet so many people who say they’ll stay with someone or date someone because they like the same things or because they’re a “good person” but I think that’s stupid. Or maybe I’m the one who’s naive. Maybe it requires compatibility for people…

Crooked, Beautiful Things

I used to dream of capturing beautiful things when I was a kid. I think that was one of the main reasons why I wanted to be a filmmaker before I even knew what it was called. I wanted to capture the sunlight on someone’s hair or the flowers on a pretty white house’s windowsill….

Never The Same Love Twice

One– You were a chubby ten year-old and your mom made sure to have her assistant bring you imported candies and a rose stem. Two– Starting to blossom at twelve, the boy on the 3rd row took notice, gave you a rose each day before the fourteenth. Three– You were fourteen when a messenger comes barging in…

Pain in Stills

When hometown blues became too much to bear, I took a chance and ran away for a few days. We sailed in the night and by morning we stepped foot on a thriving island in the Visayas. We had cups of hot cocoa and sticky rice cakes for breakfast in an ordinary looking cafe a…

Permanence

What is permanence? Permanence is buying hardbound books to fill your apartment, or purchasing winter boots because you know you’ll still be here when the first snowflake falls. It’s giving your heart to someone, certain you’ll still be around when they finally give you a second glance. But permanence is also the dreams you had…

Vancouver Rain and all its Sad Souls

What’s it like living in Vancouver? Well, it always rains, maybe 60% of the time. During summers the days are painfully hot, the type where you go home and fall asleep as the heat flows through your body then dissipates. But most days it is raining – fall, winter, spring. When I’m not in the…

Myself, Elsewhere

Where am I? It sounds like such a simple question but the answer comes in layers. Physically, I am back in Manila but my mind and heart seems to have lingered in Vancouver. Which makes it all the more confusing, even to me. Who would have thought that the once 20-year old who so stubbornly…

An Urban Life

When I am back in Manila I will live in an old dingy two-storied wooden apartment, with a boyfriend who doesn’t mind if I model clothes or make-up. We would have pets, maybe a dog or a goldfish and a turtle. On sundays we’ll while away our time watering and talking to our plants, lying…